flashpoint

It's entertaining to watch my thoughts. They tend to flow over the same mental stones, rolling them over and over, shifting them aimlessly. I can consider anything, I tell myself. Why limit my thinking. But of course I do. Some thoughts I hear as spoken words in my inner ear. Others merely sit and do not verbalize. If I look at them closely, then they assemble - coalesce from wispy ether. Look away and they are gone.

At some point these ideas cross a magical threshold where they manifest in action. Some conscious, most not. A kind of simmering potential energy. What triggers this metamorphosis from dormant mental juice to the firing of muscles and the building of will? The most interesting catalysts are the subtle ones. The ones that build from long consideration, ebb and recede with disinterest, and resurface with unexpected vigor. The flashpoint, the ignition of mental fume into explosive movement, the transition of this potential into the actual is beyond my understanding. But it's amazing to watch.

The tipping point can be knowledge long suspected and the confirmed. This story behind the Iraq war may confirm what many have suspected. But for some reason, it has not incited much action. Listen to a politician who has floated in the sea of political half-truths for 30 years and still maintains some sense of self. It's somewhat unbelievable. His demeanor is of one used to seeing his listener's eyes glaze over - and his point evaporate on impact. He believes, but I think he's somewhat surprised to see that others do as well. He seems a lonely politician. He knows that being genuine is rare for his breed. I wish him well. I hope his words find purchase with others, even if he does not succeed.

I'm still watching the stones roll around in my own mental stream, wondering which will eventually surface - considering the options. When will I act? Or will I at all? I don't know. It's so easy to be apathetic. Just floating wordlessly, eyes closed, sensing the passage of time. One finger in the cold water feeling it rush by.

I'm beginning to learn. That's usually the moment just before I act...